Distant Relations
by PurpleMoon3
Summary: Challenge response to: 'Naruto couldn't decide whether to be wary or happy at the sight of the blonde haired woman across from him.' Taken and warped into an Excel Saga Crossover. One-shot.


**Distant Relations**

**Disclaimer: PM3 (PurpleMoon) doesn't gain anything but satisfaction from this. **

**A/N- This was a response to a challenge posed on the forum _A Demons Desire_. Basically someone writes a sentence and you try to build a fic around that. This was the sentence...**

**"Naruto couldn't decide whether to be wary or happy at the sight of the blonde haired woman across from him."**

**And now, I hope you enjoy this little oneshot.**

Naruto had always been curious as to familial heritage, at least he had after he realized babies did NOT come from the cabbage patch. He learned that lesson from an irate farmer. Eventually he mustered the courage to ask the orphanage Mistress about it (several other kids had files with their parents listed) and she had waved him off with a promise to look into it. Any further attempts at gaining information had been similarly disregarded.

The Hokage had not been helpful in encouraging them to speed up the process, though he did manage to set Naruto up with a small apartment far earlier than most un-adoptees. This good fortune turned out to be double-sided as the orphanage now had no reason to look into his past. For several years Naruto had been stumped, his every effort to gain information regarding his father, which he had always thought a long shot, and his mother, who should have had some record at least of death, was thwarted by the flimsiest of excuses.

At one point Naruto had begun to think that maybe, just maybe, he HAD popped out of the ground in an unnatural occurrence of fate and THAT was why he was so hated. 'Don't make friends with that boy- he's not natural- he's a mutated worm baby!'  
That theory was quickly discarded after Iruka assured him that he was human, and if he was a worm he would have multiple hearts and the ability to digest soil.

Over time Naruto gave up seeking help from Konoha and had mostly forgotten about his possible unknown relations choosing to accept the here and now, when he got out.

It was during Team Seven's first dangerous mission, out in Wave, when he saw the building. It was run down like most of the town, but had a certain sturdiness to it that said it was different. There was also the official symbol of the Water country stamped above the door though Naruto hadn't recognized it at the time. "Office of Civil Disputes and Inquiry – Wave Branch."

The building also doubled as the local orphanage as Wave tended to take care of it's own and had very few children go unclaimed. The branch was mostly run on funds from the Daimyo of Water, and staffed with locals specially trained for all the red tape and paperwork that came from a larger country. There was so much paperwork, in fact, that Naruto almost dropped it and went on his way but these were the first people that actually allowed him to make an effort.

The blonde genin walked out of the building leaving fully filled out forms and all thoughts of it behind. He had training to get to! The workers, after hearing about the heroic struggle at their new bridge, suddenly remembered the small boy that had come in and fished out his forms. They were experts at the political dance having fought tooth and nail with Gato the last few years and intended to do their duty.

Now, Naruto was at a quandary. He hadn't really expected his whim in Wave to produce anything, and he wasn't really sure he could believe it. His heart nearly burst at the thought that he wasn't alone, but what if she didn't accept him? Naruto couldn't decide whether to be wary or happy at the sight of the blonde haired woman across from him. She had knocked on the door, presented the letter that had brought her to his apartment, and waited. For all of five seconds.

It only took five seconds for her to reach whatever conclusion had been made, for on the sixth second she introduced herself and Naruto was in heaven.

"Hi! I'm technically your cousin, Uzamaki Oki, but you can call me Excel! It's my code name you know, you'll need a codename too! Oh, yeah! This here's Ha-chan. Say hellow Ha-chan!" The bubbly blonde woman stepped aside to reveal a woman with glasses and dark purple-blue hair holding a small dog. She smiled and a small trail of blood leaked out of her mouth. "So? You're little Usa's boy eh? Eh?"

Naruto grinned as toothily as his new family, bursting with happiness, and lead them inside. His cousin talked fast- really fast- and it was refreshing. He was soooo tired of having to slow down for other people. "Usa? Who was Usa? They wouldn't tell me anything."

Excel flopped down on the couch while Hyatt took a seat in the kitchen, carefully taking some pills from her bag. Excel's hand gestures as she spoke seemed to create their own air currents such was the energy she moved with. Naruto unconsciously picked up on this and began gesturing in turn, the two of them feeding off of one another's enthusiasm. Naruto asked questions and was regaled with the noble history of the Uzamaki's from the founding parents Vash and Sera's to the latest adventures of Excel herself.

A glass of beer slammed onto the coffe table. "And that's why you need a code name! Ignorant masses are always out to take us down! Their just too ignorant to learn better! We are human typhoons! We are awesome!"

"Su-Sugoi! Wh-what should I be, Excel-nee-chan?" The youngest Uzamaki practically hummed with vibrating energy.

The woman scratched her chin, and examed the boy. "S-Sempai? Could I suggest?"

The two fair haired person's turned toward the dark haired woman who was looking paler by the minute. "Go ahead, Ha-chan."

"How about, Shippo?" Hyatt promptly fell over, blood spewing from her mouth, pulse gone.

Naruto stared, traumatized, and looked at his cousin in askance. Excel groaned and headed for the door. "Yo, Shippo, where's the hospital?!"

"SHE DIED!"

"Yes! Ha-chan does that! Now where is the hospital so I can steal some blood packets?!"

After bringing Hyatt back to life and watching her die (again, each time more bloody than the last) Naruto started to develop the same attitude toward death as his cousin. Namely, he ignored it. He also ignored lot's of other things (Ebisu, perverted hermits) in favor of learning from his new found family.

The Uzamaki style of martial arts was formidable indeed, to a normal person it was the stupidest way of fighting, but to an Uzamaki… Neji almost pissed his pants.

"GO SHIPPO!! KICK HIS ASS!!" Excel screamed from the bleachers, her voice easily drowning out the rest of the stadium.

Menchi, the dog Excel and Hyatt had brought with them was on the area floor having been entered as a weapon under Naruto.

Hordes of shadow clones Neji could dispatch with ease. It was what he had been expecting.

A dog tossing bladed and exploding weapons from who knows where was strange, but training with Tenten had given him the advantage to avoid the worst damage.

A persistent blonde haired idiot that charged right into the line of fire, ignoring the cuts and bruises that just kept coming was not normal! It was insane! He wasn't even using his chakra to assist the punches since Neji had clogged his chakra points long ago. "What the hell kind of fighting is this?!"

Naruto grinned, fangs visible as he felt a wound heal. "The Uzamaki Taijutsu- Berserker." For any other bloodline to fight in berserker mode was suicidal, a last ditch attempt to take out the enemy. For the Uzamaki's, with their incredible healing rate and high energy, it was as natural as breathing. Neji was getting tired, and Naruto had only just started.

A kunai drop could have been heard as the underdog uppercut the exhausted Hyuuga, sending him over fifty feet into the air.

"THAT'S HOW WE DO IT!"

Naruto wiped his forehead and shot a thumbs up to the dog who barked happily and ran around to collect her weaponry. "And to think, I could have missed out on this!"

END.


End file.
